The Itch

Itch

Here’s a bit of humor for Wednesday morning….

The Itch

or Why Didn’t I Think of That?

My five-year-old son got a thought in his head
One day as he sat at the foot of my bed.
He wanted to wear my old stockings, said he;
I laughed when he told me and said, “Now hear me:
You don’t really want to put on pantyhose;
They’re scratchy and itchy and hot—goodness knows!”
“That’s right,” said my sister, who came in just then.
“Just listen. I’ll tell you a story ‘bout when
I wore pantyhose to a dinner one night.
They itched me so bad that I looked quite a sight.
My boyfriend caught on, so I pulled myself up
And tried to act ladylike during our sup.
The itching persisted, however, and I
Thought, ‘If I can’t scratch soon, I think I will die!’
I tore off the pantyhose right then and there.
Abashed, my poor boyfriend ran fast down the stair.
That guy doesn’t make my phone ring anymore.”
“Cheer up,” my son said, “‘Cause I’ve felt them before.
The outside of mom’s hose is silky. Don’t pout.
Next time why don’t you turn your hose inside out?”

October 30, 2002
© 2017 Angela Umphers Rueger – All Rights Reserved
Photo courtesy of Pixabay

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