For This Cause

Marriage 05

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

Ephesians 5:25-33

For this cause…. We who are in Christ and are married are an object lesson. But I must ask: Are we teaching the right lesson? God ordained the institution of marriage to be a picture to the world of His great love for us, but more often than not, we present a picture of our love for God instead.

Marriage Often Paints a Picture of Our Love for God.

The typical Christian family may look quite good to the casual observer. They attend church regularly, eat together every evening, and they have family prayer time. Bedtime is peaceful, and they get along pretty well most of the time. Their children go to a good school, or perhaps they are taught at home. They learned early on to obey and respect their elders. The husband works diligently so he can pay the bills and even buy some “extras” now and then. He maintains the home, yard, and vehicles. The wife cleans the house, prepares delicious meals, takes care of the children, and keeps up with the laundry and ironing. Together they are a well oiled machine—but there is little to no intimacy. The things they do for each other are motivated by obligation or perhaps habit, but not by love. They have each gotten so caught up in their own interests that they hardly know each other anymore. They live under the same roof and sleep under the same sheets, but they barely rub shoulders anymore. They are keeping up appearances, and that is all. When she has a problem, she knows she ought to go to him for help, but she doesn’t because she is unsure of how he will react. So she turns instead to her friends. He does the same thing. Communication falters and trust disintegrates.

All too often our relationship with Christ looks just like that. We go to church, we sing, we give, and sometimes we minister in more overt ways as well. But after a while, if the love relationship with Christ is not nurtured, then the ministry becomes a chore. Problems arise and we take them to our friends instead of the Lord because we don’t quite know what to say to Him anymore.

deep-water-shining-lightIf this is where you are, the first thing to do is return to the Lord, and that is as easy as floating to the surface of the water. I remember the first time I jumped off the high dive at the base swimming pool. My body plunged deep into the water, and at first I couldn’t tell which way was up. But instead of panicking—or even swimming—I decided to be still, and pretty soon the light above me became brighter as my body began to rise to the surface. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” The Hebrew word translated know here means “to ascertain by seeing.” When I am still, God will draw me unto Himself, and His light will shine more brightly as I draw closer to Him.

When my relationship with God is what it should be, then my relationship with my spouse will be right as well. A right relationship with God always comes first. In fact, take another look at the passage above. Before Paul addressed the issue of marriage with the believers in Ephesus, he first told them they needed to be filled with the Holy Spirit (v.18). And here’s a wonderful ray of hope: You can have a God-honoring marriage even if your spouse is not on board with you. How is that possible? Keep reading and you will see.

 

Marriage Is Intended to Paint a Picture of God’s Love for Us.

We who know the Lord are the church, and we are sinful, imperfect wretches, every one of us. We do not cooperate with God; we do not return His love; we do not always please Him with our words, thoughts, and actions. But in spite of all that, God loves us unwaveringly. There is nothing I can do to make my Lord stop loving me. Marriage is intended to be just like that. The husband is instructed to love his wife, and the wife is instructed to reverence—or respect—her husband. Period. No conditions. No questions asked. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, regardless of whether she is worthy of his love. And the wife is to respect her husband regardless of whether he is worthy of her respect. Such love and respect are possible only through the power of the Holy Spirit.

A woman recently went to a female counselor for help with her marriage. She and her husband of 22 years had tried repeatedly through the years to resolve their problems, but the best they had done was to come to a stalemate. She would never leave him, but neither did she want to go on indefinitely living two separate lives under one roof. Surely intimacy was possible. The godly counselor listened for an hour as the woman poured her heart out, then she said, “Well, there’s no point talking about what your husband needs to do because he’s not here, but I have one word for you: Respect.” Then she told her to open her Bible to Ephesians 5:33 and read it aloud: “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” The woman looked at the counselor and said, “I can’t do that.” And the counselor answered, “You don’t have a choice. This is God’s plan for the wife.” The woman left the office sorrowful that day because she did not see how it was possible to respect her husband. But she trusted the Lord, knowing that His way is best. She asked Him to teach her to respect her husband, and she committed to learning this lesson no matter how long it may take. She accepted the fact that her husband may never change, but her attitude toward him can change, and that alone will make a huge difference in their marriage, for the Father promised to reward her obedience. The story is still in progress, but I’ll let you know how it goes by and by.

“Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies with parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade—
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry,
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.”

The songwriter said it so beautifully: the love of God cannot be measured, it cannot be described, and it cannot be fully comprehended. You and I are unworthy of His love, but He loves us anyway. He created us, and He gave us richly all things to enjoy, but we turned our backs on Him and chose to go our own way. Did He respond by turning His back on us? No! He loved us so much that He sent His only begotten Son into the world to pay the ransom for our sins so that we could be redeemed and once more walk in fellowship with Him. What a beautiful picture! And we are married for this cause.

August 18, 2017

Photos courtesy of Pixabay

Morning Mist

This is one of my favorite photos from a mountain retreat my middle child and I took the fall of 2014. It was a rather stressful time for both of us, but since we were homeschooling and had the freedom for a spur-of-the-moment excursion, we jumped in the minivan and drove three hours to a KOA cabin in the Shenandoah Valley, not far from Skyline Drive. It was a very relaxing time for both of us. We did some things together, and other things on our own, and we took turns choosing our together-activities. I won’t say we are inseparably close today, but there was some bonding formed as a result of our long-weekend getaway.

To capture this photo, I had to rise before dawn and drive for about an hour. Needless to say, this was one of my solo activities, as my son is not fond of rising before the sun, unless it’s to go hunting. To be honest, neither am I. Perhaps that’s why I like the photo so much—because it’s a rare one for me, and it required a certain degree of effort to obtain.

virginia-mountain-sunrise-mist

Weekly Photo Challenge: Elemental—Earth, Water, Fire, and Air. Continue reading

Damaris: A Little Woman with Great Faith

shore-bird-floridaDamaris is only mentioned once in the Bible.

But certain men joined unto him, and believed: among the which was Dionysius the Areopagite, and a woman named Damaris, and others with them. —Acts 17:34

In this passage, Paul has just finished preaching his famous sermon on Mars’ Hill in Athens, Greece. He made quite a stir by the things that he said. Some of those who stood by and listened were not convinced, but were willing to talk to him again later. Others, however, believed on the Lord Jesus Christ as a result of Paul’s preaching. Among them was this woman named Damaris. Her name means “a little woman,” and it can also mean “gentle,” as it is probably derived from the Greek damazo, meaning “tame.” Some suppose her to be the wife of Dionysius, but it seems as though that would have been mentioned if it were true. Others suppose her to be his disciple.

So, honestly, the only thing we know for sure is that she was present to hear Paul preach at Mars’ Hill, and she trusted in Christ for salvation by faith. That she is mentioned by name probably suggests that she was a significant woman in the community. For that matter, the fact that she was present at the Areopagus is significant, for it would have been quite rare for a woman to be there. Either she was of high social status, or she was a foreigner, or perhaps she was an educated woman. This third point would make sense if she were indeed a disciple of Dionysius.

One thing is sure, it is an honor to have one’s name recorded in the Holy Bible, but the greater honor by far is to have one’s name written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. Damaris had her name recorded in both places because she put her faith in Christ. The canon of Scripture is complete, but the Lamb’s Book of Life is not. Is your name in it?

Next week: Rhoda

Photo taken in Pensacola, Florida, 2017

Weeping Will Not Save Me

Weeping

by Robert Lowry

Weeping will not save me—
Though my face were bathed in tears,
That could not allay my fears,
Could not wash the sins of years—
Weeping will not save me.

Refrain:
Jesus wept and died for me;
Jesus suffered on the tree;
Jesus waits to make me free,
He alone can save me.

Working will not save me—
Purest deeds that I can do,
Holiest thoughts and feelings too,
Cannot form my soul anew—
Working will not save me.

Waiting will not save me—
Helpless, guilty, lost I lie
In my ear is mercy’s cry;
If I wail, I can but die—
Waiting will not save me.

Faith in Christ will save me—
Let me trust thy weeping Son,
Trust the work that He has done;
To his arms, Lord, help me run—
Faith in Christ will save me.


This song came to my attention while I was preparing my article about “Nothing but the Blood.” The song was listed among Robert Lowry’s most popular hymns, but I had never heard of it. Even so, the title intrigued me enough to want to look it up and learn more. After reading it, I can see why it was a popular hymn. The message of salvation is crystal clear, and the words are very singable.

You can read Robert Lowry’s biography here, and below is an instrumental recording of the tune with the lyrics subbed on the video, just in case you’re curious enough to want to know how the song was sung.

Photo courtesy of Pixabay